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When first starting out about 5 years ago, I partially made the mistake of reading too much information in proportion to the amount of field experience I was getting, especially if you take into account my lack of cold approaching and my over reliance on alcohol back in those days 
Imagine a surfer reading 5 books on surfing for every two hour session he has in the water: the effect on me was exactly paranoia. I had way too much mental data for my body's ability to handle that data in real-time interactions with women.
I believe that the mind and body are really a single unit, and not really separate entities. The thing is, we need to take knowledge into our brains but we also need
energy in order to make good use of that energy. We have social, emotional, intellectual and spiritual muscles in the same way as we have physical muscles. Overdeveloping one area without enough recovery time, or underdeveloping areas, is similar to a car with one or more cylinders misfiring (ref. The Power of Full Engagement by Loehr and Schwartz).
How will you know if you are doing too much reading vs. socializing/talking to women? You will feel paranoid. You will start to notice all sorts of micro-issues, body
language and things that really need to be on autopilot for you to get really good with women. Our brains process millions of bits of data per second. Studying material increases our capacity to recognize this data. Field experience makes our bodies and minds more comfortable with processing increased amounts of data, to the point where we don't even need to think too much after a while.
People who say that being successful with women is simple and easy are missing a point here: they have become unconsciously competent. But they forget that there are literally hundreds and hundreds of data points that they are able to process on the fly and social cues and female psychology that they needed to learn about before they could do this comfortably. Much like a pilot can fly a plane with joy and confidence without shitting his pants, but it doesn't mean that flying a plane is so simple. easy, for him, because he has put in the work and increased his mental capacity and his mind and body's ability to process all of that.
Now, turning to the title of this post, I believe that women in general, and especially sexually attractive women, are like our unconsciously competent, arrogant seducer example. They got this way from... Field experience! They first of all do all the requisite hot girl training, starting with Disney princess movies which set strong frames about how hot chicks are treated and how they should behave, and the reality of how the average man will act around them... then it's Teen Magazine, Cosmo and gossip with their girlfriends; TV shows like Friends for 20-somethings and Everybody Loves That Chode Raymond for married women, and so on. Then their field experience comes from real life data of men
hovering about them, making stupid ass approaches, supplicating and getting jealous in relationships, etc.
On that latter point, most hot women (and they have told me this!) have experienced a very-repeatable phenomenon: if she is hot and the sex is good, a chemical process takes
place in the man's brain, either sooner or later, and his personality starts to transform before her very eyes! If she really loves him, she might even try to encourage him away from this process, for a while. Here, we call this process betaization. It's also a feature of oneitis.
So beautiful women, by default, have massive field experience and also intellectual indoctrination. However, the vast majority of them are unconsciously competent.
For me, this is what makes a study of the game so fascinating. I didn't have the right training growing up that would make me a ladies' man, but rather, an average, frustrated chump. And I didn't have the correct field experience because my interactions with women, when positive, were referred to by the term "getting lucky".
So now when I interact with a woman, and the interaction doesn't go the way I intended when I first saw her, I can ask myself:
- What did I do wrong, if anything?
And next, and much more important, in my experience, I can sit back and ask myself how my body and mind are reacting to this data. As an recovering average frustrated chump, I felt like a bag of smashed assholes (credit, DJ Alexi, LOL) when I got blown out, so I had to do mental gymnastics like tell myself I was doing great even though I clearly made significant mistakes.
The halfway point between an average frustrated chump and being a real ladies' man is indifference (Tyler Durden). The way you get past this paradox is you stop worrying about the outcome. I can now get blown out, and ask myself, ok, I feel a bit down about this, what does that mean? It means I am tying too much importance to the outcome.
I am placing too much value on this silly dame and too little on the awesome research and life project I am working on. The best part is, once you can really start to enjoy
the game, and recognize that it will always have peaks and valleys, then you can really start to see your success skyrocket.
When a woman rejects you, she is not thinking, "well, your body language is a little off... your vocal tonality indicates that my pussy intimidates you... you need
better eye contact.". All she is really thinking is definitely yes!, or not in this lifetime if you were the last man on earth!,or probably something in between those two extremes.
Women watch us over a period of time, and from the first impression to the time it takes for their panties to come off, they are thinking, this guy is fucking hot! or, he makes me so hot! Then, they will often rationalize with arbitrary criteria like:
- He's ambitious
- He dresses well
- He is handsome
On that last point, it's fucking ridiculous how often I get called handsome now compared to before. My DNA is exactly the same as it was before! The difference is I am triggering
those emotional responses in the woman by the way I carry myself and the way I interact with her and the way she vicariously experiences me interacting with others, which is also known as the phenomenon of Social Proof.
In conclusion, talking about this stuff amongst men is extremely useful. For women it would be virtually pointless, although I do have one GF who actually loves these topics. For hot women, this shit is automatic. There is no need to worry about a woman's responses, because she most likely doesn't even know why she likes you or she doesn't. Women like the guys they like, don't like the ones they don't, and most men are almost totally invisible to hot women. They are obsessed about us "hot" guys.
For me, there is almost no greater joy than teaching these insights to other men. And my own game has really improved since I decided to be a teacher.
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